Much like the space city in the movie Elysium, Singapore is a very clean and very modern city. But without the regeneration pods. Or maybe they have them and I didn’t see them. Clearly, there is a lot of money being spent to make the city attractive to tourists and big businesses alike. For the most part, the outcome of this is a pretty sterile city.

We arrived in Singapore with high expectations of it’s airport, of which we have heard much about, but found it a bit underwhelming. Maybe it would be better on the way out? We quickly made our way through customs and jumped on the train to head into town. The subway and train system in Singapore is top notch. Unlike the dank confines of the New York or Philadelphia subways, there are bright, wide open spaces throughout the system with easy to follow signage everywhere. We grabbed a very cheap ($10) three day pass and were able to take the trains at our leisure. It’s also a great place to roam around when it’s 100 degrees outside because it is completely air conditioned.

A certain little song went through my head every time I saw SMRT. It is going through your head right now probably.

There is a game you can play in Changi Airport with many people. It takes your picture and you can enter a name. Any name. A little while later, Shithead won a match.

Urban gardens on high-end real estate. Good job, Singapore!

We had booked a room at the Matchbox Concept Hostel in the Chinatown neighborhood. It lived up to it’s name as the accommodation was little more than a medium-sized closet. It would not have been so bad if not for the fact that it was poorly constructed and not really well thought out. A crappy stand up lamp was one of the only lights and a tiny, broken shelf was the only other place to put things other than the floor. It really could have used some colorfully painted walls and wall hooks but, alas, there were none. The staff was very nice and helpful though and the toilets and shower areas were generally clean.

Tiny cubby sleeping pods and a crappy floor lamp. That window looks onto the hostel's hangout room.

Chinatown is a very nice area in the city. High-end bars and restaurants and shops line the narrow, curving streets. We randomly chose a salon near our place to get haircuts and were very happy with the new doos. The cafeteria-like food centers are a great place to get cheap and good local cuisine. Some of the places look a bit on the scruffy side but we were told that they are all held to very strict cleanliness standards or they would face stiff fines. The peanut butter pancakes in the Maxwell Food Center are amazing but the coffee was found lacking.

Unlike Chinatown, Little Indian is a bit run down. The sidewalks are a bit more busted up and the shops are definitely not as upscale. There was a large sign proclaiming it to be a Dengue outbreak area. Is that bad? It was clear that of all the money being spent in Singapore, it was not being spent in neighborhoods like this one. We did have pretty decent Indian food here, although I’m not sure we got exactly what we ordered because I couldn’t understand the waiter's explanation of the menu.

Colorful two and three-storey buildings line the streets of Chinatown.

There are a few very impressive Chinese pagodas around the city. The attention to detail on these is pretty amazing.

Also some nice Hindu temples in Little India. They are always super colorful.

The waterfront is the main tourist strolling area where you can pick from many over-priced, western style restaurants. We skipped those and ate at the open food market and watched the lasers shoot over the water in the nightly light display. The giant boat on top of three towers building dominates the landscape here though I heard that most people think it is a pretty atrocious building. You can stay there for a meager $600 a night though and swim in its swanky rooftop pool.

As you can imagine for a city situated directly on the equator, it's really hot there. We spent a good amount of our time playing a game called “dodge the sun.” We spent an afternoon strolling giant, multi-story malls that dot several areas, including one strip that probably has 10 of them or more in a row. It’s high-end shops galore for people who are into that. We caught an 11:15 AM showing of the turdburger feature film Batman v Superman. Then, we went over to one of the other main attractions in the city - Gardens by the Bay.

An Indian band plays during Holi on the waterfront.

That's us in front of a place where we definitely did not stay. Traveling hobos are not allowed in there.

Gardens by the Bay is a large area near the, uh, bay, that has some giant metal flower structures covered by plants and two massive domed conservatories - the Flower Dome and the Cloud Forest. We visited both conservatories but did little wandering through the rest of the garden.

The Flower Dome is filled with plants and trees from all over the world, all somehow surviving in the somewhat frigid confines of the dome. It was the largest collection of cacti I've ever seen in one place. It was also pretty crowded with humans. There were a bunch of cool carvings and statues placed throughout the garden that were worth seeking out.

Driftwood the Dragon. Breathing fire is probably not his thing.

There were flowers in the Flower Dome as well.

The Cloud Forest is the more novel of the two attractions. Every two hours or so, mist machines placed throughout the dome fill the area with a pleasant fog. While not quite clouds, as the name suggests, it is still nice. You can then climb up and around an ivy and flower covered fake mountain, complete with a waterfall, some ponds, and plastic stalagmites. The tour ends with an interactive display about global climate conditions and a film warning about climate change. This might be an area of interest for Singapore due to the fact that raising the sea level a few feet would inundate the entire city-state.

The Elysium Zero-G Hanging Space Gardens were neat-o!

I looked hard for this sculpture and I almost MIST it!

Leaving on that cheery note, we went back to our tiny hostel but popped in to the karaoke bar that just happened to be right next door. It was a slow night but I got the crowd going with a stirring rendition of George Michael’s Faith before moving on to my other go to song, Twist and Shout. I would make the case that it is the near perfect karaoke song due to its universal recognition, easy, built in dance move, and short length. Needless to say, it received the biggest ovation of the night.

It was a short visit but a fun one. With it's collection of shiny towers and hi-tech gardens, it really does feel like some kind of future city. We got to have drinks at Level 33, a brewery located (shockingly) on the 33rd floor of a building overlooking the bay, with a pair of awesome new friends whom we met on the side of a volcano in Bali. They pointed out that they had yet to walk in an area of the city that they felt was unsafe. They also shared that the government isn't so keen on any negative comments about the city and will arrest or deport you as a political dissident, so that feels very Elysium as well. We ate some really good meals, sang some songs, and saw some lasers. What more could you want from a visit to a city for just three nights? Well, maybe a slightly bigger room. Next time I guess.

PS - The Changi Airport is nicer on the way out but still nothing that made me want to hang out in it for more than a couple hours.

Even in space, everyone needs an air conditioner.